Sisters.

This one was recorded live at Libby’s house while testing the mic — yes, with her walking by in the background ignoring us completely because she had laundry to do. Priorities.

But what came out of that session was one of the most interesting conversations I’ve had with myself yet. Because I read two essays back to back and both of them cracked something open.

The Parts of You That Aren’t I

The first essay stopped me immediately because it picked up exactly where my drive to Libby’s house left off.

I had just been talking about how the things that happen to us, the experiences we carry, the pain we’ve lived through — those things are part of what we’ve lived. But they are not who we are.

And then I opened the book and Brianna Wiest said the exact same thing in a different way.

She asks: have you ever identified the difference between what you call yours and what you call yourself?

Think about that for a second. Your heartbeat is yours. Your body is yours. Your experiences are yours. But none of those things are you. They are things that belong to you. There’s a difference.

We tend to think of ourselves as our bodies, our histories, our roles. And Wiest says we do that because it’s safer. It keeps us within the parameters we’ve set for ourselves. It means we don’t have to sit with the open ended question of what else.

But here’s what she says happens when we stop boxing ourselves in: we start to see life for what it really is, not just what the idea of it is.

When we realize that we exist inside and outside of the structures we’ve built around ourselves — that’s when real healing has a chance to begin.

You Can’t Heal Just a Part of Yourself

This is the part that really got me.

You can’t just pick one corner of yourself to work on and leave the rest untouched. You can’t box yourself into neat little sections and say I’ll fix this part and ignore that one. You have to see yourself as a whole.

You are more than your body. More than your past. More than what you’ve been told you are or what you’ve told yourself you are.

Within each person are thoughts, ideas, and the being of a true solid individual. And we can’t hold ourselves to the constructs we’ve created — or the ones others created for us.

The deeper we go into understanding ourselves, the more we see. And yes, that can hurt. But it can also heal. And we get to choose what we do with what we find.

20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think

The second essay was a list — and I want to share a few that hit differently than I expected.

You’ve lost relationships. That sounds like a bad thing. But Wiest frames it as growth — you stopped holding onto what was familiar just because it was familiar. That takes courage.

You’re interested in something. Anything. It doesn’t matter what it is. The fact that curiosity is still alive in you means something is working.

You’re not rigidly set on your future. The people who understand that going with the flow doesn’t mean giving up — it means staying open to making something good out of whatever comes — those are the ones who actually get somewhere.

And the last one. Number twenty.

You’ve been through some crap.

Her last line: life did not get easier. You got smarter.

I really hope that’s true for me. And I hope it’s true for you too.

The Takeaway

Pay attention to what your gut is telling you before your brain catches up. That feeling in your stomach, the butterflies, the unease, the pull toward something — your soul knows things before your mind does.

The internal world is just as vast and complex as everything happening around you. Maybe more.

And the what else — that open ended question we’ve been avoiding — that’s not the scary part. That’s the beginning.

Drop a 💜 if this one made you think. And keep pressing forward sisters.

Listen to the full episode on My Sister’s Closet wherever you get your podcasts.