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Sisters.

I recorded this one on a 40 degree Sunday afternoon walk, which honestly already tells you everything about where my head was. Moving, processing, figuring things out one step at a time.

I’d just done my first Pilates session the day before — 20 chaotic minutes on my friend’s phone — and I was feeling good about trying new things. New year, new attempts. That’s the energy.

What I’ve Been Reading

I’m working through Brianna Wiest’s 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think — yes, the same book I keep coming back to — and the essay I’d just finished stopped me cold. It was about what emotionally intelligent people actually do differently.

Here’s the part that stuck: your feelings are not always an accurate reflection of what’s actually happening. Emotionally intelligent people take inventory. They name what they’re feeling, examine where that feeling is coming from, and then ask — is this actually true? Is this really what’s going on, or is this just one of many thoughts circulating that I haven’t examined yet?

That’s a different way of living than most of us were taught.

The Difference Between Social and Emotional Intelligence

I kept saying social intelligence on this walk and had to correct myself at the end — I meant emotional intelligence. But honestly both matter so here’s the quick breakdown:

Social intelligence is about reading the room — awareness, empathy, how you come across to others. Emotional intelligence is about managing what’s happening inside you while all of that is going on. Both are learnable. Neither is fixed. And both directly impact your relationships, your career, and your health.

What I’m Actually Working On

I’ll be honest — I’m a go-getter. I see a problem, I want to fix it immediately. I have an idea, I think we should just try it and see. And while that energy has taken me far, I’m starting to see how it lands on other people.

Not everyone wants chop chop let’s fix it energy. Some people need to be met differently. And adapting how I communicate based on how someone else best receives information — that’s something I genuinely need to practice.

The essay put it simply: ask thoughtful questions, practice active listening, pay attention to social dynamics, and seek out new experiences that stretch you. None of that is complicated. All of it requires intention.

The Walking Stick Moment

I picked up a walking stick on the trail, something was on it, I dropped it immediately and turned around. And then I said something to myself that I want to say to you too:

There’s no shame in turning back. There’s no shame in trying something out and deciding it’s not for you. The key is you don’t stay where you were. You come back the way you came and you keep moving.

That applies to a lot more than hiking trails.

Managing the Emotion in the Moment

The last thing from that essay that really landed: when you feel something intense in the moment — anger, hurt, embarrassment — your job is not to perform it for everyone around you. Your job is to manage it long enough to get somewhere you can actually process it.

Step away. Count. Breathe. Excuse yourself if you need to. Feel it fully — just not in the middle of the moment where it can do damage.

We are too grown to be letting other people pull us completely out of ourselves. That doesn’t mean suppressing it. It means being strategic about where and when you let it out.

The Three Things to Practice:

Name what you’re feeling. Take inventory — is this actually what’s happening or is it a story I’m telling myself? Then manage it. Not bury it. Manage it.

That’s the whole episode. That’s the whole walk.

Later sisters. 💜

Listen to the full episode on My Sister’s Closet wherever you get your podcasts.